#5 Mom

"I don't care if anything happens to you, I would still have my two daughters."

#4 Stupidity Struggles

honestly?? sometimes I lowkey feel like an idiot, not understanding things instantly, having to take my time to try and process information..

I don't even know how I've been making it to top 10 past 3 years of school, though I gave up last semester in my final year immediately.. uhm, anyway, I'm a very slow person..

#3 Fragile Lie

what if she did like me? 

it's something that I think about from time to time..

.....i accidentally lost my progress of my rant.. I'll just summarize it

- she's easy to read

- her lies are always obvious to me

- she had a crush she wanted no one to know about and it might've been me

- she admitted she constantly tries to act casual around this crush

- 1st time I pressed on her abt if she reluctantly said the name (someone I don't recognize or know) after 3 days of persistence 

- 2nd time I asked casually months later it was a different name

continuing on where I left off.. honestly when I lie, I tend to make myself believe that lie and make a false memory, not remembering the actual truth before actually trying to remember it lmao

so. her. it could've been me. that crush. it was weird and unusual, she would've gushed about this crush to me easily if it was someone I don't know. even if it was someone I knew, we were closer than ever, enough for her to trust me to keep it a secret..

but what if that someone was me? ofc she wouldn't be able to gush about this crush in front of said crush!!!... I'm delulu. I'm just coping. I might be too old for this stupid love drama that all happened last year anyway she has a bf now, since January they're official, situationship for months

oh and happy lunar new year!

#2 Not Lovable

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.. I had always been unconsciously thinking I'd end myself after highschool.. idk

anyway, I've been thinking that I maybe should start dieting or something, I gained a lot past 2 years but I guess that's because I'm a growing teen

but still.. imagery issues

I've always wondered if my exes in the past genuinely liked me and not see me as just someone to pass time with

cause I could never imagine..!! someone genuinely smiling when they see me text.. that's impossible.. someone that's happy to see me simply smile.. a myth! someone!! that likes me!! absolute miracle from God himself lowkey lmao..

not even saying this in a self deprecating way but I really just can't imagine someone genuinely loving me unconditionally.. even my parents don't do that

#1 Welcome!

Hi hi hellooo!! welcome to my bloggg! I'm mero and I'll be ranting to absolutely no one.!!

what I'll be blogging about will depend on my mood obvi and.. yeah! I'll probably post daily or not, again, it will depend on my mood.. 

it'll just be dramatic vents and rants and crash outs, so ofc, suicidal ideation, self-loathing, and so on... I'm sure no one will read anyway but I just needed to get these stuff out of my chest

i like having dramatic titles but I'm sure I'm gonna cringe so hard later.. it's fine! completely fine!

MIZISUA IS THE BEST!